Procrastination

I woke up this morning with this grand plan. I was going to spend the day being super productive and just bang my way though my to do list, which today consisted of mainly the gun book. Sounds good, right? Well, right. I ended up starting by working through a Gimp tutorial (Gimp is the linux version of photoshop, for those who don't know). Then I did a bit of the gun book. I worked well for maybe 15 minutes then I got side tracked by looking at linux to-do apps. I found a command line one, which is interesting, but then decided to install Tracks.

Well, you see, productivity is this illusive thing. Some people use paper, others the web, other spend countless hours and gigabytes downloading software. But why?

The dream is that app that will do our work for us. That takes all of the effort and stress out of our lives. That will turn us into little widget cranking robots. Because, you see, the less we think, the more we can do. But this takes the human out of it, doesn't it? Can we have an app that thinks for us? That takes away the fears associated with our work? The boredom?

I'll admit that I also strive for this. I get flustered really easily when I have too much to do. Really flustered. So I try to take the stress away by letting the computers think. But computers don't think, they process. There is a big difference and in the end, I am left unsatisfied.

Saija is my attempt at creating the most think-like task organizer I can, but I can really completely succeed. Even Saija can't do it all.

So where does all this leave me? What philosophy do I try to follow? All I know is that I'm getting more and more unhappy with the state of my projects... I spend all of my time at work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I work with awesome people and do flow-enabling work. But here I am, solving other peoples problems. These sites are not mine. They don't solve my problems. I want to solve my problems.

That leaves the weekends and after work. And that means productivity. For a while I was thinking about trying to focus on only one thing, and that seems like a good plan, but I tend to project jump so much. I never really finish anything. I like to work on things that grab me. But that doesn't lead to goals..

This is the challenge of life. The challenge I have always struggled with all my life. But now I don't have a block. I don't have school. I have free time and free money. I have lots of freedom. And I have spent the last 3 months only working. My life is now....

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So I guess I need goals, thats what all of the gurus say. But I always come up with corny goals that I look back on later and laugh at. Those are not real goals. So what are real goals?

Well for one, I need to make money online. I need a residual income. I won't be at Web Services forever, so while I have the extra money, I need to learn to make money. I guess that is why I am back online... why I am writing this. The money is leading me home. So more doing, less reading. Here I come.

I also want to fill in my knowledge in relation to websites. I need to learn graphic design and finish djite. I am a programmer... I'll always be programming. I guess that is kinda goal number 2.

I'll stop there for now... I also have health goals... Like getting in shape. but the details can wait for now.

I have a gun book to finish, once and for all.